“It’s not you, it’s . . . you.” Passive Aggressiveness on Social Media.

My recent post What Annoys Me MOST about Facebook, stirred some fairly heated conversations among my colleagues and friends. “Are you talking about me?” “Were you talking about ___ (insert name here)?” Apparently it struck a nerve. Both positive and negative. I had numerous emails and tweets that agreed with me. Still others were defensive even if they had not specifically written any of my “top annoyances” on their page. I even had someone come up to me at a conference and say “I agree. I don’t care what type of chilli you’re making.” I was taken back for a second then laughed as I knew what he was referencing.

On the off chance you will get offended at this blog, please note, that my writings come from weeks of research. I mean, any social media “guru” knows I just need to study something for a few weeks and I can be called an “expert.”

A colleague, who I consider a good friend, knew I was writing this post and cautioned “Adam, you’re not a psychologist.” I agree. So please, get off my couch and just listen.

“Passive Aggressive” is defined by Dictionary.com as ” being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive way (as through procrastination, stubbornness, and unwillingness to communicate) < span=””> <>passive-aggressive  personality”

You’ve seen it. A recent break-up. A friendship gone sour. Or simply just being unhappy about the way someone treated you. They are all painful experiences. I’m certainly not making light of them because we all know how painful those experiences are. Heartbreaking even.

But then, it all starts to unfold before our eyes in our news stream. A song posted with jabbing lyrics. Changing of a favorite quote to “If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.” Then like it or not, we are forced to choose sides. Or at least feel sympathy and “like” their status. After all, I’m not a good friend if I don’t publicly sympathize with their pain by clicking my mouse.

I like what Teresa Boarman said in her blog “A social media tip for the passive aggressive:”

“In general you can say anything to your twitter, or facebook, friends or in blog comments, emails or even text messages if you know the rules. Write what ever you want to and just end it with a “:)” or a “LOL”.  It goes something like this: “You suck LOL” or “I can’t stand you I would be surprised if your own mother loved you ”

So friends, I leave you with this: stop being passive aggressive on social media. The rest of us just want to get on FB and see cute photos of your kids, funny things that happened that day, or meaningful updates about your life.

I really would rather not be sucked into taking sides. And if I do take sides, I’ll let you know privately. LOL. =)

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